


until we meet again

by Olicityrules



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Blood and Torture, Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Loss, Pain, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-30
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-03-20 10:48:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3647481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olicityrules/pseuds/Olicityrules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity  has been kidnapped and is being tortured for information.<br/>she thinks Oliver is dead, but really Oliver is looking for her.<br/>but he find her to late.</p><p>warning death of a major character, and torture.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oliver Queen is dead

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys,
> 
> i have dedicating, this to Oliver and Felicity's relationship, i read today that Felicity is going to die at the end of this series,  
> i hope it's not true, if it is i think that it's a big mistake on Arrows part.  
> i have a terrible feeling they are going to get them together only to kill her off.  
> lets all cross our finger and hope it doesn't happen.

 

 

He was dead, it banged around in her head, she couldn't quite bring herself to believe it, Oliver Queen was dead.

Merlyn had told her, and she thought her legs would give way, Oliver Queen was dead.

It didn't make senses to her, she had come to think of Oliver as indestructible, that nothing could kill him, but the stark reality was that it was an illusion that she had built up to protect herself, Oliver Queen was dead.

She hadn't wanted to believe it, denied herself the truth, until the very last moment, until the test results wouldn't allow her to believe it was anything else, that it was there in black and white, the blood matched, Oliver Queen was dead.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to shout, she wanted to cry, all at the same time, her emotions were in turmoil. Tripping over each other, in waves of Grief and pain. Oliver Queen was dead.

It was hard to breath, her chest tight, her grief overwhelming her in misery. He was gone and he wasn't coming back this time. Oliver Queen was dead.

It was raining, Felicity didn't notice, she needed air, needed to breath, but no relief came as she headed home, she wanted to be on her own, to cry to morn, Oliver Queen was dead.

It felt like her heart had been ripped from her chest, her very soul cried out, she had never told him that she love him, why she never told him was lost on her now. Oliver Queen was dead.

A sob erupted from her chest, she stopped and braced herself by holding on to the wall, for the second time that night she thought her legs would give way, and then the tears came, wave after wave, until she thought she couldn't take it anymore. Oliver Queen was dead.

And then it happened someone grabbed her from behind, a hand clamped over her mouth, and panic welled in her, she struggled to free herself. As she was dragged into a waiting van. She felt a sharp prick in her arm, and realized she had been injected with something, she struggled against the sleepy feeling, but couldn't fight it, he last thought before sleep took her, Oliver Queen couldn't rescue her, because Oliver Queen was dead.


	2. week one

 

 

Week one

Felicity woke, to the smell of damp, it was dark, and dingy, without her glasses and with no light in the room, she couldn't see anything, her head pounded and she still felt groggy, her head felt like led she went to get up on shaky legs, but couldn't she was chained to the wall. She realized then that she was sat on a single blanket, she tugged on the chains, but they didn't budge.

She felt panic then well in her, she had no idea where she was, no idea how long she had been here, it could be days, it could be weeks, it could even of been minutes,  time meant nothing.

She took a deep breath, calming herself down, this was fine, it was all going to be okay, Oliver would come, he always came, he’d find her. He always found her.

That thought  stopped dead as she remembered, Oliver was dead, he wasn't coming, she had faith in Diggle and Roy, but they weren't Oliver they didn't have his skills at finding people.

She looked into the darkness, it was official she was screwed.

 

 

She been alone in the dark, she didn't know how long, the darkness enclosed around her until she wanted to scream. The silence was defining, all that could be heard was her breathing.

And then they came, she couldn't see their faces,  but they looked like menacing shadows in the dark, and she knew that danger was coming for her, she breathed hard, trying not to let the panic overwhelm her, one grabbed her and pulled her to her feet, her arm strained against the chains, and she whimpered.

“Please what do you want?” she asked with a tear filled voice.

Fear gripping her heart that was thundering in her chest.

They never said anything, he just hit her hard, knocking her out.

 

When she woke up she was tied to a chair, blood had pooled in her mouth, and for the first time in her life, she spit on the floor, a bright light shone in her eyes. She winced at the light, she couldn't  see anything.

She couldn't see their faces, because of the light

“Where is he?” boomed a voice.

“Who?” she asked.

“Last change where is he?”  

“Who?” she asked again, she didn't know who they were talking about. Confusion consumed her.

For a brief second she wondered if they were looking for the Arrow, but that thought made no sense no one knew she helped the Arrow outside the group. She wracked her brain trying to think of anyone else that harden criminals could be after, that she knew, but no one sprung to mine.

And then before she knew it, she was stabbed with something long and pointed an electric shock zipped through her body, she screamed in pain.

“Where is he?” the voice demanded again.

“Who?” she cried, just before she was electrocuted with a cattle prod again.

“Please“ she begged when she was done screaming.

Her whole body went  limp. As the electric left her body.

“Where is he?” again the electric zipped through her, she screamed in agony, as every muscle went tort.

“Who?” she pleaded, before she was electrocuted again. Her whole body went ridged, as the pain engulfed her.

She didn't know what they wanted form her, the pain was agonizing, she couldn't think, her body was on alert, she felt sick, as her stomach churned. Her insides burned, and smoke rose from her burnt flesh.

She had no idea how long they tortured her, but it felt like days, the never ending agony continued until she passed out from the pain.

 

She was awoken with ice cold water being thrown over her, she screamed as her body went into shock.

She was back on the blanket chained to the wall.

“Where is he?” a voice boomed from all around her.

“I don’t know who you mean” she pleaded in to the darkened room.

Only to be slapped hard across the face, she cried out as blood rushed into her mouth. She hadn't know they were there, she had thought herself to be alone. He had appeared from nowhere.

And just as quickly as he came he was gone, and then she was on her own, sobbing quietly.

She had no one to come and rescue her, she was on her own, the thought scared her.

 

 

A while later she was woken up again, cold water being thrown over her, “Where is he?” boomed a voice from the darkness.

The shock, startled her awake. She was freezing cold from the water, her body trembled. She felt sick and her mouth tasted of copper from the blood, she was sure she had swallowed a tooth. It was defiantly missing.

And then they were there again, they unlocked her chains and put a bag over her head, and then they were dragging her along, she cried out, fear now had completely taken over, her whole body hurt, she wanted Oliver, but Oliver wasn't coming, she was in this on her own. She knew more torture awaited her, and fear for what was coming, made her legs shake, she didn't know the answers to the questions they were asking, she didn't know what they wanted. She knew nothing.

Panic surged though her, pushing her on to do something that she normally wouldn't consider, she kicked out, making contact with what she thought was a leg, someone cried out, and let her go, she took the opportunity, without really think she swung around and hit with her free hand, it hit a face and then she was completely free, for a split second she didn't know what to do, and then survival kicked in and she ran blindly, as she ran she pulled off the bag, and looked around wildly. She saw a door and headed for it, she grabbed the door handle, if she could just get out the door, then she would be on her way to being free. Hope surged within her.

But before she could even turn the knob.

Someone hit her on the back of the head with something long and hard, knocking her off her feet, she fell to her knees.

Her head spun, she couldn't focus on anything, she felt blood dripping down the back of her neck, shock exploded in her.

Then they were grabbing each of her arms and pulling her to her feet. And all hope of escaping faded as they dragged her kicking and screaming away from the door, and back to her doom.

The one thing she did know, she was going to die here, it was probably not going to be now, more torture lied ahead, but they would eventually kill her, her fate was the same as Oliver’s.

 

She screamed wanting  the pain to end. The knife cut at her skin like it was cutting butter, slashing at her skin until she bled, they never asked any question this time, just kept cutting her, and laughing each time she screamed.  It was then that she silently prayed to died.

She woke to the water again, the ice cold had made her body go numb, she whimpered, freezing.

She shock uncontrollably, unable to get herself warm her teeth chattered.

She wondered when this nightmare would end, and when she could be with Oliver

They never said anything just left her ,  over the cause of the night they came ten times, each time she drifted off to sleep, they would come with the water, She was so very tired, she felt weak and her mind foggy. She didn't know what was real and what was not anymore.

 Eventually they dragged her back to her chair and tied her to it, they asked her again, she didn't answer, there was nothing she could say, she didn't know what they wanted, they held her hand down, she tried to pull away as the hammer came down, but no matter how much the panic took over she couldn't escape, the hammer hit hard, she screamed as pain cursed through her hand.

Before she even had time to think, a plastic bag was covered over her head, she couldn't breathe, and she panicked jerking around like a fish out of water. As she desperately tried to gulp in air, the feeling of panic was so overwhelming, no other sense’s worked, she was going to die now, and  it panicked her into a frenzy. She was chocking. She pulled in a small amount of air, and she knew it was her last breath.

And then the bag was gone, and she sucked in a deep breath of air, she coughed and spluttered. Tears burned a path down her face.

And then she saw them coming with another bag, “No please no” she begged trying to escape the chair that she was tied to, but her plea’s did no go, the darkness covered her, and she was dragged back to her so called bed.

They woke her several time, with noise or cold water, she couldn't remember the last time she had even an hour of sleep,  she didn't know what was real and what was a dream, she was living in hell.

 


	3. week two

 

Week two

 

Now when they came she didn’t fight, couldn’t fight, she had no strength left to fight, food and drink was along forgotten thing. He stomach had stopped grumbling sometime past.

They turned up the heating until she felt like she would burn alive, what precious water she had in her body, was now expelled in sweat, her tongue felt thick in her mouth, and her eyes dry.

She had long stopped crying, there was no tears left, her body was chapped and blistered.

And they continued with the torture, taking a finger from her right hand, she briefly thought she would never type again. But there was no time to dwell on such things.

They asked the same question over and over again, but Felicity had no answers for them. She gave up trying to explain that she didn’t know who they wanted. Weather she spoke or stayed silent it still ended with the same results, pain a lot of pain. Never ending pain.

She just let them get on with it, all fight was gone now. She had long since given up hope of escape or rescue

When the torture was done she would close her eyes and think of Oliver, all she wished now was to die, to be with him, her grief for Oliver had no bounds, a hollow black hole had opened in her chest , and it wouldn’t go away. She had loved him, and he was all that kept her from the pain, she would hold him in her head, happy time of eating at big belly burger, or on their date. It was the only light in the hell that now was her life.

He was all that mattered now, she knew that death was coming, and she wanted it, she wanted to be with him. That was the goal now, to be with Oliver.

 

Hours later they cut of another of her finger and made her watch, she screamed as pain cursed though her body. As her finger fell to the floor.

They hung her up by her arm from the ceiling and left her there, until she thought her arms would break, her hand throbbed as blood dripped down from her finger.

Hours later they came and burnt her feet, asking the same question over and over, a question she had no answer to.

She wanted this to end, she wanted to be with Oliver, she missed him.

They hulled her, back to the bed. She closed her eyes and imagined that Oliver was rescuing her, that she felt his arms around her, lifting her, taking her from this place, he whispering that he loved her, and that they were going to be together.

A smile curved her lips, she felt loved , and treasured, the pain in her body went away, all that mattered was Oliver.

And then cold water was thrown over her, and her dream was gone.

“Where is he Miss Smoak?”

“Who?” she cried, for she hadn't given them the answer that they wanted, she know what was coming.

They hung her up again, it mattered not, now she waited for death, they beat her hitting her with a metal bar, over and over again, until she vomited blood onto the floor.

“Where is he?!” the shadow men bellowed.

“Who?” she screamed ? unable to take it anymore.

“The Arrow, miss Smoak, where is the Arrow?” they said it so calmly, that they could have been talking about the weather.

The relief that she finally knew what they wanted was palatable “He’s dead!” she screamed to anyone that would hear.

But the torture didn't stop, they still asked the question, she still gave the same answer, for there was no other answer to give, Oliver Queen was dead. They just didn't believe her.


	4. Oliver

 

 

“We need to take her into theater Mr Queen, she has a split kidney, internal bleeding, she had blunt force trauma to her head,and she has lost a lot of blood, it a  risk taking her in, but we have no chose” the doctor gave his diagnosis.

Oliver was frantic, he had brought Felicity in only moment before, when she had passed out in his arms for one heart stopping moment he thought she had died, and in that one moment he completely went to pieces, his world fell apart, everything stood still, and all he wanted to do was cry, and then he had seen her breathing it was shallow, but it was there. Everything else had been a blur, rushing to get her medical attention. He had disregarded any speed limit to get her here.

“Is she going to be alright?” Oliver didn't care about any of that he just wanted to know if she was alright.

“You need to prepare yourself Mr. Queen, she may not come out of surgery, and even if she does, there is no guarantee that she is going to be okay” the doctor told him.

That was not the news he wanted to hear, the doctor was supposed to tell him that she was going to be fine, he needed to hear those words, even if they weren't true.

His heart pounded in his chest, as his chest tightened, she couldn't die on him, he hadn't die on a mountain top, his last thought of her,  and he hadn't come back from the dead just for her to die, fate couldn't be that cruel surely.

He loved her, and he had no idea what he would do if she wasn't alright, he couldn't imagine his life without her in it, a world without Felicity was a bleak place to be, and he wasn't sure it was a place he wanted to live.

Oliver nodded and ran a hand though his hair. Because there was nothing else he could do, a helpless feeling fell over him.

He walked away from the Doctor his heart heavy.

This couldn't be happening, he wasn't supposed to come back from the dead, and find her at death door, the League of assassin’s had been looking for him. She was lying near death because of him. Because he loved her, when he had gone to fight Ra’s al Ghul he had never imagine that when he found out Oliver was still alive that he would go after Felicity, and he couldn't believe that they tortured the information out of her, information which ironically she couldn't give them, because as far as she was concerned he was dead.

When he had come back and Diggle and Roy had said she was missing, he had nearly gone out of his mind.

He had been like a mad man looking for her, questioning every criminal he knew, he had finally found her, but he hadn't been expecting the amount of torture she had gone through. It had broken him to see her so helpless like that.

Guilt had swamped him then.

He silently promised himself that if she came out of this alive, he would never again let her out of his sight. That the Arrow would be a thing of the past, he would settle down with her, marry her have children and live happily ever after.

He sat down in a plastic Orange chair. A wave of despair washed over him.

Diggle and Roy pushed open the double doors, Diggle looked around frantically, they both looked as worried as hell.

Oliver knew how they felt, but for him it was ten times worse.

“How is she?” Diggle asked rushing over to him, Roy behind.

Oliver looked up at him, dry eyed, he couldn't cry, if he let himself cry, then he was letting himself believe that she wasn't going to pull though, and he just couldn't go there “She's not good, they have taken her into surgery” Oliver told them grimly.

“It’s that bad?” Roy asked worriedly.

“The doctor mentioned blunt for trauma,  internal bleeding and split kidney, it’s serious” Oliver said deadpan.

Diggle dropped into a chair next to Oliver, almost as if his legs wouldn't hold him up any longer. The atmosphere, was thick with worry.

No one said anything, because there was nothing to say.

Now all they could do was wait. And for Oliver it was agonizing.

 

 

Oliver had remembered Felicity Mom about three hours later, he had hated the conversation, the distress in Donna’s voice, had nearly been his undoing. He had wanted to fall to his knees and cry like a baby, instead, he told Donna what was happening and where in the hospital they were.

He had had some bad conversation in his life, but this had been the worst he had ever had, he had hung up the phone and leaned against the wall, he pinched the bridge of his nose, and hoped this torment would be over soon, he just wanted to see her.

 

It had been hours, Oliver was beginning to think the worst. She had been in surgery for what seemed like a lifetime.

Roy and Diggle had gone to get something to eat, and Oliver was left on his own.

He wasn't going anywhere until he could see her, and he would know that she was alright.

He closed his eyes and prayed to anyone that would listen, he prayed that she would be alright, and that they could start that life that he wanted with her so desperately.

“Mr Queen?”

Oliver looked up into the Doctors face, “She Okay?” he asked hope filling his voice.

“She came though surgery Mr Queen, that’s a good thing, she need to get though the next forty eight hours, if she dose there may be a chance that she will survive, it’s a waiting game now I am afraid”

“Can I see her?” he asked.

“She is unconscious, but yes”

 

He found her lying in her room attached to a heart monitor, she look pail and small. And so far from the vibrant colorful person that he knew that he barely recognized her. Her skin had a grayish tint too it and it was drawn back across her bone structure, given her a skeleton look.

His breath caught in his chest at the sight of her, his stomach churned. When he had gone to her for help and had laid helpless in the back of her car he had never dreamed that she would end up here like this, he had promised to protect her, and he had failed in that promise, the guilt of bringing her into this would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Her left hand was bandaged and her right in plaster, a rage he couldn't control and didn't want to hit him hard then. It took everything in him to sit down instead of going to find Ra’s Al Ghul, and doing the same to him.

Needing to touch her to know that she was here, he placed a hand lightly on her arm.

“Felicity” he breathed the words catching in his throat “I’m so sorry, I should of come back sooner, this should never of happened”  he took a deep breath calming his turbulent emotions. “The thing is Felicity, you can’t die, I need you here, I need you to be my I.T girl, but it’s not just that I need you to be my girl, I promise you if you fight, we will go on a second date, and a third and a forth, hell Felicity, I will date you every day, just don’t leave me, I nearly died on a mounting top and I survived because I had to get back to you, you drove me to come home, you can’t be so cruel as to leave me now, I don’t think I will survive it, being close to death makes you realize things, as I was stabbed , my last thought was of you, and our kiss, I promised myself, if I survived there would be more kisses,  so many more, that I would be the man that you deserved, so you have to come back to me Felicity, because I can’t kiss you if you’re not here, that can’t be our first and last kiss, I won’t let it be, I will fight for both of us, but you have to help me, you have to get better so I can fight for us, do you hear me? You have to come back to me, there has to be more kisses, we are supposed to grow old together, I want that with you so badly. I came to my senses Felicity, I realized that I love you and want to be with you above everything else, you’re it for me, and I am telling you here and now, I love you and I need you, so fight, fight for us, don’t give up” he gently pushed away her hair from her face. He gingerly rose above her, and placed a kiss to her lips, a tender kiss, a kiss of promises, of love, of years of happiness. But most of all it was a vow, that for the rest of his life, she would be his world, he would hang up the hood, and never look at a bow again.  If she stayed with him, they  would love so greatly, that they could overcome anything.

“I love you” he said.

He sat back down, and closed his eyes “Please be okay” he whisper to the empty room. As he did the monitors went berserk, as she flat line, the machine started to beep loudly. And she started to jerk around in her bed.

He rose so quickly his chair fell over “Felicity” he said urgently, helplessly. “HELP, HELP I NEED HELP!” he screamed at the top of his lungs

Medical staff, moved into the room, they got out paddles  “Get him out of here”  the doctor commanded.

He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay with her, “I’m not leaving, Felicity” he said helplessly as he tried to move further into the room, back to her,  but the nurse  blocked his path and pushed him out the room. “Felicity!” he shouted as he was shoved into the corridor. He tried to push past the nurse, needing to be with her.

“Mr Queen for us to do our job properly you need to be out here” the nurse said sternly before rushing back into the room. And closing the door on him.

He felt out of control, he couldn't control a situation and it was alien to him. He couldn't see what was going on, machine were making crazy noises in her room, noises that weren't good.

Tears sprang to his eyes, but he blinked them back, he had to be strong for her.

Someone in the room shouted “Clear”

And Oliver had an uncontrollable  urge to barge into the room, instead he stood rooted to the spot, his legs wouldn't move, his body tight with tension, what was going on in there? The not knowing was killing him.

“Oliver?” Diggle said then.

“What happened?” Roy asked.

“Her heart stopped beating” he swallowed on a dry throat. Still looking at the door, he couldn't take his eyes from it, wanting someone to come out and tell him what was happening, but at the same time dreading it “They are trying to start it again”

“She's going to die isn't she?” Roy said quietly.

Oliver glared at him, “no she isn't, she is forbidden to die” Oliver bit out angrily.

“Easy Oliver” Diggle said placing a hand on Oliver’s shoulder. Oliver turned to look at Diggle “You need to prepare yourself Oliver” Diggle said.

“For what? She is strong, her body is strong, and she is strong willed, she isn't going to leave us, leave me” Oliver denied.

Diggle opened his mouth to say something, but before he could the Doctor came out.

The doctor walked to him solemnly, and Oliver knew what he was going to say, but ever atom of his DNA begged for other news.

He just looked at him, and Oliver’s hope fled him, he couldn't deny it, there was only sorrow in the Doctors eyes.

“No.” he denied, backing away from the Doctor or the situation, he wasn't sure which didn't care, Felicity Smoak couldn't be dead, he had been dealt some bad situations in his time, but he couldn't be dealt this blow, he would never survive it.

“I’m sorry  Mr Queen” the doctor said sadly.

“No” he said backing up, wanting to get away from the truth.

“There was nothing we could do, the heart was under too much stress she was in no pain, ” the Doctor explained as if that could bring some comfort.

It only brought an over whelming feeling of loss too Oliver.

“Please no” he begged.

At that moment Donna walked into the corridor, she took one look at Oliver and knew, she dropped to her knees and started crying. Diggle ran to her and held her as she sobbed. Trying to give what little comfort he could.

Roy just looked lost.

Oliver barged into her room, before anyone could stop him, needing to see himself that she was gone, until he saw with his own eyes he wouldn't believe it.

They had laid a sheet over her, she lay perfectly still under that sheet, he couldn't deny it, she wasn't breathing.

And then a mixture of emotions welled in him  sorrow, loss, pain, love, grief, and so many more that he couldn't even name, he has seen too much death in his time, he could deal with death, he wasn't afraid of it, but Felicity was different, Felicity was not meant to die.

And then in that moment like a truck hitting him, he saw their life together flash across  his eyes, dates, sex, marriage, children, growing old surrounded by love, and none of it was ever going to happen, Oliver Queen had missed his chance at being happy, because he knew with absolute certainty that he would never have that with anyone else then Felicity, she was it for him, a bleak future lay ahead for him, and suddenly he couldn't deal with it.

Nothing mattered anymore.

The pain in his chest intensified.

He turned on his heels and fled the room, unable to bear seeing her like that a moment longer.

“Oliver where are you going? Oliver?” he vaguely heard Diggle shout as he ran passed Diggle and Donna, But Oliver couldn't stop, he had to get out, get away. As far away from where she was as possible.

He ran not knowing where he was going, he just knew that he couldn't stay there with her lifeless body so near, he couldn't deal with Donna or Diggle or Roy, he couldn't be the strong one this time. It wasn't a possibility.

All Oliver wanted to do, was curl up and die, he wished that he had died on that mountain, Because now Felicity Smoak was dead, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

 

Oliver ran until he thought his heart would explode, he finally stopped, found himself outside a bar, called O’Malley’s he would never knew what made him go inside, but he did, he sat quietly at the bar and ordered a vodka, he downed it in one go, letting the fiery liquid slid down his throat and explode in his stomach, the pain eased slightly, so he ordered another, and with each drink he took, the pain of his loss lessened a little, his senses became numb, he found solace  in his drink.

Oliver didn't go to the funeral, he found a bar and got drunk instead, he needed to numb the overwhelming pain and guilt he felt. For the next month he drunk and did little else, the Arrow was long forgotten, he hardly slept, and when he did, he usually woke up in alleyways with no idea how he had got there. None of it matters.

 His phone became an irritant, always ringing Diggle, Roy, Laurel, Thea, all phoning, all of the time, until finally he throw it in a dumpster, he wanted nothing to do with any of them, he was best off  alone.

Before he knew it another month had passed, and he found himself at her grave with a bottle of whisky in his hand.


	5. Felicity pt 1

 

**HERE LIES FELICITY MEGAN SMOAK**

**A LOVING DAUGHTER AND LOYAL FRIEND**

**YOU WILL FOREVER BE MISSED**

Oliver fell to his knees in front of the headstone, he lightly touched the words with his fingertips, he missed her, there was no denying it, the drink numbed the pain of his loss, but did little for the missing part, there was an empty chasm where she should had been. He took a deep swig of the whisky from the bottle, “I’m sorry Felicity, If I could change place’s I would” he vowed.

“Cry me a river Oliver”

He spun around to find Felicity giving him that look that said she was disappointed in him.

“Felicity” he breathed in shock, as he fell back on his butt.

She walked towards him.

He just stared, unable to take his eyes from her, a heavy weight fell on his chest at the sight of her, his breathing became shallow.

“It’s a nice headstone” she announced casually

He just stared in shock. Unable to do anything but stare at her. This couldn't be happening, how was it possible that she was here? Was he seeing things or was she an apparition, he supposed it didn't matter she was here, that was all that mattered to him, he didn't care how.

“How was my funeral was it nice? I had meant to arrange everything you know, in our line of work you never know if you’re going to be alive tomorrow, but I never got around to it, guess I should have” she wrinkled up her nose in that way that he thought was adorable.

“I never went to the funeral” Oliver said still in a bit of shock.

Felicity knelt down in front of Oliver “Oliver Queen I am disappointed, you never went to my funeral, what is the matter with you? Just because I am dead didn't mean I didn't want you there, I can’t believe that you did that, I so would of gone to your funeral, I would of mourned and everything, I can’t believe that you haven’t shown me the same-“

Oliver grabbed Felicity and kissed her.

Oliver heart beat so fast he thought it would explode in his chest, he hand went up to the nape of her neck, his fingers feeling the soft skin there.

His lip brushed her, in a sweeping kiss.

They each pulled back at the same time, and started into each other’s eyes for a long moment, a unforeseen pull tugging at him. His eyes darted to her lip and then back to her eyes. The stark truth was he wanted her , he gave into the pull and took her lips with his again, it wasn't anywhere near a perfect kiss, it was clumsy and needy, he felt like he was drinking life force. His tongue touched hers and searing heat cursed though him, making him feel alive, all pain long forgotten in the touch of her lips.

She pulled away then.

And he felt the loss deeply, his breath was laboured.

Oliver  watched her as she slowly opened her eyes “Well that was . . . Well actually that was fantastic” she admitted.

Oliver smiled , but Felicity face was grim “What’s wrong?” Oliver asked.

“Oliver you can’t go around kissing me, I’m dead remember”

Oliver rolled his eyes and took another gulp of whisky. He didn't want to hear this.

“You can roll your eyes all you like, but the truth is I am dead, I’m gone never coming back, and you’re a drunken hobo, not really the ideal grounds to start a relationship, because me being dead and all, kind of put a spike in that wheel don’t you think?” she tilted her head to one side.

“I don’t care, you’re here with me” he said looking into her eyes.

“You’re leaning against my head stone,” she pointed out “if nothing else that should tell you that I can’t stay here forever”

He winced as he realized that he was in fact leaning against her headstone.

“If you can’t stay with me then why are you here Felicity?” he asked gulping back more whisky, because the pain was seeping in again.

“I’m here to help you though this transition, I died and you need to except that Oliver” she told him taking his face in her hands.

Anger poured in at her worlds, he didn't want to hear that she was leaving, just the thought made a rage build in him like a tidal wave.

He looked at his now empty bottle of Whisky and said “What I need is another bottle” he said getting up on shaking legs.

He did not want to listen to this, he couldn't listen to this.

Felicity rolled her eyes “Oliver, you need to listen to me”

“I need a drink” he tossed over his shoulder as he walked off.


	6. Barry

 

 

 

Oliver had been  angry, but by the next day the need to see her again had won out, he had been at war with himself weather he should see her again, because even Oliver knew that it was strange to say the least that he could see Felicity when she was dead,! but the need to see her burned in him so badly that in the end he could do nothing else but go, so with a fresh bottle of Whisky he headed back to Felicity grave.

His heart thundered in his chest, as he approached her grave hoping  to see her. It churned in his guts. As his eyes scanned the grave yard, for any signs of Felicity.

Disappointment engulfed him as there was no sign of her, he sat down on her grave and opened his whisky, he took a deep gulp “I’m not going anywhere Felicity” he announced to the open space.

Disappointment filled him, he had yearned to see her with every part of his being, and the fact she wasn't there tortured him. He missed her.

He drank half the bottle of Whisky in one go.

“Oliver, you really can’t keep doing this” Felicity sat next to him. “Drinking yourself to death, isn't the answer”

He smiled ignoring her rebuke “Hello” he leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips.

The over whelming feel of his lips touching hers was too much for him to bear.

“And you are going to stop doing that, you can’t keep going around kissing dead people!” she announced pulling away.

“I could kiss you all day long” he said smiling.

Felicity rolled her eyes “You are the most stubborn, stupid, idiotic man I have ever met!”

“I just love it when you get mad at me” he said leaning in for another kiss.

“That is not why I am here Oliver” she said moving away.

“But it’s so enjoyable” he told her.

“Oliver?” came another voice.

Oliver turned to see Barry coming towards him with flowers in his arms.

He felt irritated that they had been interrupted.

“What are you doing here Barry?” Oliver bit out.

“I come to see her at least once a week, she like daisy’s, so I get her fresh ones” he held out the flowers so Oliver could see.

Oliver couldn't have cared less about the stupid Daisy’s. What he did care about was getting rid of Barry so he could be alone with Felicity.

“Oliver, where have you been?” Barry asked. He couldn't seem to be able to see Felicity, “You know everyone is looking for you” Barry said concern in his voice.

“Well here I am you have found me” Oliver announced sarcasm lacing his voice. “Well done Barry I always knew you had it in you”

“Thea is worried about you” Barry told him frowning and ignoring the sarcasm.

He didn't really care that Thea was worried, he didn't care about any of it.

The only thing that matter was being here with Felicity.

“Well as you can see Barry I am perfectly fine” Oliver spread his arms wide, in a gesture to show he was in one piece.

Barry placed the flowers on Felicity grave, and then looked at Oliver.

“You don’t look fine Oliver” Barry pointed out he had a serious tone to his voice.

Oliver didn't need this, he just wanted to sit and talk to Felicity, Barry was just in the way as far as he was concerned.

“Well looks can be deceiving” Oliver said annoyed .

“No he’s pretty much right, you look God damn awful Oliver” Felicity said next to him.

“Oliver, why don’t you come with me and have a shower and some food” Barry said in that kind gentle manner of his.

“I’m not going anywhere” just the thought of being away from her, sent a wave of fear though him.

“Oliver why do you have to be so stubborn?” Felicity said rolling her eyes.

“Come on Oliver let me help you” Barry took him by the arm to help him up.

Anger surged in his stomach.

“I said I am not going anywhere!” he growled as he shock off Barry grip.

Barry backed down.

“Okay, Okay I’ll leave you alone” Barry stood holding his hands up.

“Just go Barry I don’t want you here” Oliver bit out angry.

“I miss her to” Barry said then, “I still can’t believe that she’s gone” he ignored Oliver outburst.

A sad look formed in Barry’s eyes as if he was remembering something long ago, he then looked at Oliver like he suddenly remembered that Oliver was there “she wouldn't want this for you Oliver, drinking on her grave, that wouldn't be something she would of  wonted. In fact she would be mortified to see you like this” Barry said deadpan.

“Go to Hell Barry, stop preaching and leave me alone”

“Fine, but you’re not the only one that misses her, while you disappeared, everyone else had to pick up the pieces, just because the rest of us didn't fall apart, doesn't mean we are not all in mourning” Barry turned then and walked away.

“Oliver what are you doing?” Felicity asked “Barry only wants to help you”

“I don’t need his help I am perfectly content staying here with you” he smiled at Felicity

Felicity cupped Oliver’s cheek “and therein lies your problem”


	7. Diggle and Roy

 

Whenever Oliver wasn’t at Felicity’s grave he didn’t see her, and his heart hurt, so bad.

He missed her when she wasn’t with him.

So when he had brought a bottle of Jack Daniel’s he headed back, to her.

“You know drinking that is going to shrivel up your liver,” Felicity told him.

“Then I will die quicker so I can get to you quicker”

“Oliver, you have to stop this, I am dead, you have to let go, you have to get back to being the Arrow, saving this city”

“Leave it Felicity” he barked.

Felicity signed

“Oliver what are you doing man?” Diggle said then.

Oliver looked up to see Diggle and  Roy.

“I’m having a drink care to join me?” Oliver asked.

“When Barry said you were in a bad way, he really understated his meaning” Diggle said, crouching in front of Oliver.

“What is that smell?” Roy asked waving a hand in front of his nose.

“That would be you” Felicity said to Oliver.

Oliver rolled his eyes.

“Man as your friend I feel the need to say you need to take a shower Oliver,” Diggle said calmly.

“Yeah man you smell like you have been sleeping in a dumpster”

Little did Roy know that was exactly where he had been sleeping.

“Oliver what are you doing here?”

“I miss her” Oliver told his friend.

Diggle placed a hand on Oliver’s shoulder “I miss her to, but this can’t go on, you can’t go on like this, Starling City needs the Arrow”

Oliver scoffed “the Arrow is dead, he can’t do anything, he can’t even protect his own team how is he supposed to protect the city?”

“We can’t answer that Oliver, only you can, but I can tell you that the City is crying out for the Arrow” Roy said then.

“Do you think that she would want this, for you to give up on the city, because the felicity that I know, would never of given up,  even in the darkest of times she would fight, when she thought you were dead, she fought harder than any of us” Diggle said.

“He’s right I did, I’m quite proud of myself” Felicity said smugly.

“Well Felicity isn’t here now is she?” Oliver said angry.

“Oliver I understand that you miss her, we miss her to, but this isn’t healthy, you can’t live the rest of your life in a grave yard” Diggle tried to reason .

Oliver stared at Diggle “what are you going to do Diggle, both of you know I will kick your assess if you try remove me by force, and I am perfectly content with me and Jack”

Roy frowned “Jack?”

“Jack Daniels” Oliver held up the bottle.

“Now leave me be”

“We are not going to leave you here” Diggle pointed out.

“Then I will be the one to leave” Oliver stood up.

“Oliver” Diggle said after him.

But Oliver just kept walking.

All Diggle and Roy could do was watch.


	8. Laurel and Thea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> This chapter is a little harsh on Thea, and some people would say that Oliver wouldn't be mean, but we all do things in the grip of grief, that are out of character, and Oliver is grieving, so i wanted him to lash out.  
> hope you enjoy.

 

 

A whole week went by and Oliver didn’t see anyone, he was finally breathing a sigh of relief, he could spend his days with Felicity alone and in peace. It was the only thing he wanted.

But his hopes were dashed later that day, when he saw his sister and Laurel coming towards him, he sighed.

“Be nice and listen to them” Felicity said next to him.

Oliver rolled his eyes.

“Oh my God Oliver, look at you, I nearly mistook you for a hobo” Thea said right off the bat.

Oliver glared at her “Go away Thea” he spit out.

Laurel crouched down in front of him “Ollie we only want to help you, we are just worried about you” she said diplomatically.

“Did it ever accrue to you that I don’t want your help”

“I know what its like to get dependant of this stuff,” she picked up the empty bottle of whisky, that was laid next to Oliver “you help me get clean and I want to repay the favour”

Oliver looked her in the eye “I don’t want your favours, the only thing I need is another bottle of Jack Daniels” he said trying to stand up, but  he couldn’t keep his balance, and Laurel had to grab him to hold him upright.

He pushed her away.

“Oliver please let them help you, I hate seeing you like this, it’s breaking my heart” Felicity pleaded.

Thea grabbed his arm as he started to move away “this is stupid Oliver, you are a complete mess and right now I am ashamed that you are my brother” she snipped angrily.

The anger hit hard then, he pulled his arm out of her grasp “Well I am ashamed of you!” he said with bitterness in his voice, the anger  overflowed.

Thea looked confused.

Oliver pointed to Felicity tomb stone “she’s  laid there because of you Thea”

Thea looked taken back.

Laurel knew where the argument was going she said “Oliver that enough” she stepped between them.

“I don’t think it is this is down to her, she has caused all this”

“Oliver that enough, blaming her isn’t going to bring me back” Felicity said.

“What did I do?” Thea wanted to know.

“Merlyn” he shot at her, one word gruff and angry.

Thea face turned white.

“I know Thea, I know you have been with him, you chose him, and because of those actions, Felicity is dead!”

Felicity flinched at his anger.

“I don’t understand.” Thea said in shock. “What has my farther got to do with Felicity’s death?” she looked between Oliver and Laurel.

“You have done it now” Felicity muttered.

“You’re Farther? That man is a murderer  a cold blooded killer, if you want to hitch your wagon to that stigma go right ahead”

“You wouldn’t tell me what was going on, all I got was lie, he was the only one to tell me the truth” Thea defended.

“Did it ever occur to you that I was protecting you? Of cause not, Because you don’t think no anyone but yourself, well now you have done it Thea, you were always a screwed up kid, Drugs, alcohol, stealing, but you have really hit rock bottom now, I stood by you, but this , her dead I can’t forgive, I place the blame at your door, your dead to me”

“Oliver please calm down” Laurel said then.

“Calm down, you should be just as mad at her as I am, “ he said to Laurel.

“It’s not her fault Oliver” Laurel said.

“Not her fault, she allied herself with Merlyn, which set in motion a course of advents that have killed your sister and Felicity, I place the blame firmly at her door”

“I don’t understand” Thea said in a daze.

Laurel turned to Thea then, I think we should go Thea, there are some things I need to tell you” Laurel said.

“That right get away from me, and stay the hell away”

Thea started to cry then, as Laurel wrapped her arms around her shoulder and walked her away.

“Are you happy now?” Felicity asked.

“She is a traitor to the family”

“You lied to her, no wonder she walked away” Felicity pointed out.

“It’s not an excuse Felicity”

“I just think that you are so angry, that you’re taking it out on her, and that’s not right Oliver, we all make mistakes,”

Trust Felicity to make him feel guilty.

“I need a drink” he said the anger draining away.

“Well that certainly isn’t the answer” Felicity muttered.

Oliver walked away.

 


	9. Lance

 

 

 

 

 

Oliver was awoken from a deep sleep, Felicity and himself was walking in a park and a beautiful summers day, they were holding hands and they were happy.

“Kid, Kid wake up”

Oliver opened bleary eyes, his head pounded, he had one hell of a hangover, he needed another drink, to stop the throbbing in his head.

He groaned.

“What are you doing kid?” came a familiar voice from above him.

He looked up and winced as the sun hit his eyes.

When his eyes adjusted he realised that Lance was stood there.

“Really they are really showing there B game if they sent you” he spit out.

Lance frowned “What you going on about Kid?”

“They are really scraping the bottom of the barrel if they have sent you”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, no one has sent me, I came to put flowers on Felicity’s grave, she was a wonderful person, I guess I kind of looked upon her as a third daughter” he said with a faraway look in his eyes.

Then Lance looked down at Oliver “you look like hell, and you don’t smell none to sweet”

“I told you, I can smell you on the other side of the grave yard” Felicity piped up for the first time.

“I take it you’re not taking her death to well, I always knew she was special to you, it was the way you used to look at her. You were in love with her weren’t you”

“Is there some point to this conversation?” Oliver asked, he wanted to go get a drink.

“What I am saying is you’re not going to find what you are looking for at the bottom of a Jack Daniels Bottle, trust me I know, drink blocks the pain, but you have to deal with that pain to move on, this isn’t moving on Oliver, she’s gone and no amount of drinking yourself to death is going to bring her back, When I lost Sara the first time, I was devastated, and a bottle of drink seemed to be the only way out for me, but it’s a lie, it covers up what lies beneath, and then one day you wake up and realise you a drunk that lost everything that is important in your life, you can’t hide in the bottom of a bottle, you have to stand up and feel the pain, and it will hurt like crazy and some days you will wonder how you will make it through, but you have to, because the hurt is good, it tells you that your grieving, and once you have grieved you move on. You never forget, but one day, you wake you and you find it’s just that little bit easier to get through the day.”

“It hurts too much” Oliver admitted.

“I know it dose kid, but you got to ask yourself, would she want this? Would she want you sleeping on her grave? Would she want you so drunk you pass out and don’t remember what you did the day before? You know the answer, and it’s not yes”

Lance place the flowers he was holding in front of her headstone.

“I know you love her, but let’s face it this isn’t respecting her memory is it? I like to think I knew her, and I think she would be mortified to see you like this”

“He’s right I am” Felicity agreed, much to Oliver’s annoyance.

“She was one hell of a girl, I will miss her” he said quietly, and then he turned  and walked away.


	10. Goodbyes

 

 

Felicity watched Lance walk away until he was only a dot on the horizon, then she turned to Oliver tears in her eyes.

“Oliver you have to listen to him”

He looked at her a hurt look on his face.

“Oliver you have saved countless people, me included, more than once, now let me save you, it’s time to let me go, drinking yourself in to a coma, isn’t the answer, you have to free yourself form this prison you have built around you”

“I cant, I can’t face life without you”

“Yes you can, you are the Arrow, you need to get back to being the Arrow”

“No. The Arrow is gone, no matter what now, I’m done being the Arrow, I lose too many people close to me being the Arrow”

She held his head in her hands “If that’s what you want, then that’s fine, but don’t waste your life her, at my Grave, I am gone”

Tears sprang to his eyes  “your death was a waste”

She looked into his eyes “Yes it was, but my life wasn’t, meeting you brought meaning to my life,  and in the last two and a half years , I have done more than I thought possible and I haven’t wasted a second of it, and that thanks to you, so don’t do me the dishonour of wasting your life because of me”

“You die because of me, because the league was looking for me”

“You have to let go of this guilt, stop blaming yourself do it for me” she asked him.

Oliver broke down then. “I love you”

“I know you do” Felicity stroked his head, “and because you do, you have to let me go”

“Felicity” he breathed the first flow of tears finely falling.

“Will you do something for me?” she asked.

“For you anything” he promised.

“Walk away now and don’t look back, leave me here and never come back”

“Felicity” he was full on crying now, as he knew this was it.

Felicity kissed him then, a gently kiss that spoke of goodbyes.

She pulled away from him and he looked into her eyes “I am going to walk away now” he said finely letting go of the women he loved.

In that moment Oliver Queen let go of Felicity Smoak, he stepped out of her embrace.

Taken a deep shuddering breath he started to walk, and as he did the tears fell, he cried for the love he had for her, he cried for the love they would never have, he cried for his loss, and he cried for hers, the sobs came one after the other until he couldn’t breath.

He couldn’t stop himself, he turned for one last look, she stood staring at him, lifting a hand she lightly waved, before she disappeared.

A cry erupted from his chest, and he wanted to run back, but he didn’t he turned and carried on walking. For it was the last thing he would ever do for her.

Oliver Queen was never seen again.

 


	11. we meet again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end
> 
> enjoy

 

Oliver sat up and looked around, he felt odd, lighter, was the only way of describing it.

“It’s about time” came her voice.

Oliver looked up to see Felicity leaning against the door frame.

Love surged though him. And a smile formed on his lips.

“What happened?” Oliver asked standing up.

Felicity stepped into the room “Oliver you know what happened, your brain just doesn’t want to except it,” he frowned at Felicity.

“Oliver your dead” she nodded behind Oliver.

Oliver turned to see himself laid in bed, clearly dead.

It surprised Oliver that he wasn’t that bothered, he was with Felicity, his whole life was to get to this point.

“You haven’t aged, you’re beautiful” he told Felicity.

“Time works differently for me, what has been fifty years for you has only been hours for me” she told him. “Once we are gone, you will return to your younger days, it just the way it works”

“I missed you” he told her sincerely.

She cupped his cheek with her hand “all is well now, I’m here” she pulled him to her, and he went willingly.

And as she wrapped her arms around him, the tears came and he cried like a baby. The relief of having her and being able to touch was over whelming.

“Shrrrrrr, it okay, we are together now”, she pulled him away to look into his watery eyes.

She wiped the tears from his eyes, “We have to go, it time now, people are waiting for you”

He frowned “People?”

“You’re Mom and Dad, Tommy ,Sara, they are all waiting”

She took his hand “Ready?”

He had never been more ready in his life, he know that Felicity would never take him anywhere bad.

She led him thought the door and he went willingly. They both disappeared.

Oliver body was never found, no one knows what happened to him, the team believe that he joined the league, those that knew Oliver Queen say he went back to lian yu.

But the truth was he was waiting, he was waiting for the love of his life, the only person that made him whole, and he had waited his whole life just to get back to her. For that one moment when she came for him and they could finally have the life (or afterlife) that had been so cruelly taken from them.  And after fifty years of waiting, he finally got to be with Felicity Smoak.


End file.
